“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are──or, as we are conditioned to see it”
Stephen R Covey
Many aspects of life shape who we are, what we believe, and how we act. From birth we learn to observe. As an infant, the feelings we have are just our feelings. As grow up and live life, it is our experiences that give meaning to words. That feeling when you are happy is now happiness. That pain you feel is now sadness. As we live and learn and grow, it is our experiences that define the language we use.
Kenneth Burke coined the term Terministic Screen to encapsulate such language. Published writer Mike Allens defines it as such:
“Terministic screens consist of the words we use to represent reality, and as selections from among many conceptual vocabularies, they can lead to different conclusions as to what reality actually is.”
As we experience life, it is our experiences and memories that give meaning to the language we use and how we understand the world. For me, the biggest influences of my life and identity are my family and my Taiwanese heritage.
Family is the biggest influence in my life. Of all the people significant to me, my family members are the only people I’ve really known all my life. Every vacation, every celebration, every breakdown, my family has always been by my side. The word family encapsulates so much of my life. The way I understand “family” is shaped by the experiences I have shared with my own family.
I grew up having a very large family. My paternal grandmother was one of 9, and she had 5 children. My entire life, I have been surrounded constantly. My father is the only son in the family. My father showed me that family is the strongest bond in life. Whenever my aunties had a problem, my father was there to help. My father always told me no matter what happened between my siblings or cousins that we would always be family. I was raised to do anything for family. As result, my family means everything to me.
On my mother’s side, I also had a huge family. My maternal grandmother also came from a large family of many tight knit siblings and cousins. When my grandmother fell ill, family members that I had never met before gathered to see her. My family has an unofficial motto:
“我們一家人”
This phrase translates to “we are one family.” My grandfather explained its meaning to me as family is family no matter how strained the relationship. In times of need, family is who you turn to for help.
Coming from two loving families, I have always seen the world with family as my priority. When I observe the world I analyze with the thought of family in mind. Everything I understand about the world and relationships, I discovered with my family at my side.
The second term that impacts my life the greatest is Taiwanese.
Coming from two immigrant parents and being Taiwanese from birth, I hold the Taiwanese culture and identity very close to me. Growing up in America and experiencing Taiwanese culture at home really shaped my understanding of being Taiwanese. Surrounded by the American culture, I formulated my version and definition of being Taiwanese.
Between me and my siblings, I was the only one born in Taiwan. I am an American citizen, but I was born out of the country. This fact crushed my dream of becoming the first female president. Growing up asian in predominantly white area taught me to value Taiwanese culture. Many people are unaware that Taiwan is not China. Between the two countries, there is a divide and each consider the other separate. I grew up in a social environment different from the culture I came from.
From birth I was taught Mandarin. Going to school, I learned English in terms of Mandarin. Apple was 蘋果. Dog was 狗. This fact made me different from my peers. However, the differences between me and my peers didn’t stop at language.
The food I ate, the way I pronounced words, the games I played — everything was different from the other kids. As a young child, I was picked on and I did not understand why.
Looking back now, I see that being Taiwanese changed the way I interacted with my peers. Being Taiwanese made me stronger when I got picked on for having “weird” food and staying things funny. I used to get so frustrated as a child that I tried to change the way I spoke and the snacks I ate. I remember trying to convince other kids that I ate meatloaf for dinner all the time thinking that it would make me appear as a normal American child.
As I got older, I realized that my difficulties trying to be both Taiwanese and American shaped my perception of the world. Right now I understand that my Taiwanese heritage impacted my interactions growing up and shaped the way I understood my peers and experiences. The shame and misunderstanding I faced growing up only made me learn to value my heritage more. No longer ashamed of where I come from, I stand proud understanding the world as a Taiwanese woman.
Being Taiwanese has shaped me. As I try to “represent reality” with language, I find myself crossing between languages and cultures.
Beyond My Door 